I’m talking to Sraffie Alex and I think he’s trying to distract me from how I’m feeling by namedropping all my friends, and maybe it’s working a bit, but I feel like writing about it anyway.
I was happy to return to Beijing but I feel a bit like I left Harbin and all my friends there a bit prematurely. I have a few friends at school and Kat is around of course, but I’m a bit lonely here in 五道口Wudaokou. Ben and Verena are pretty much the only people I know, and I just feel… it’s just hard when you need certain friends more than they need you.
And mostly this emo feeling is stupid, and the stupidness of it just makes me feel lame. I’ve felt this way before, also the lame part, but it’s been years and I’ve been all right for a long time, and even in Harbin, I think I did very well after getting over the initial shock of arriving in the city all alone. I made great friends in any case, and I felt secure the way I’ve felt the last few years in both MTL and TO.
This is probably just temporary. I’m just being weird. Hopefully.
I think I just miss my homegirls, and the A-boys, just hitting a couch I am completely at home in.
